Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Festive Gifts for Feisty Playwrights!

Oh lawks a lordy it is that time of year again when a playwright's heart beats a little faster at the thought of being given a new pen, or p'raps a jolly notebook (the paper variety) or any number of stationery delights.

Here at 7-ON Central* in between working on submissions for the Griffin Award and reading the new David Sedaris we have collated a list of FESTIVE GIFTS which we will (in the spirit of holiday joyfulness) share with YOU.

"Right, when you say “gift” you mean “gifts” right? 
Like, plural. 
Because one is not going to be enough after this crazy and often quite shitty year. I’m thinking relaxing, restful, place to dream up new plays. Yes that could be tickets to Fiji but I would also accept A HAMMOCK. 
And the other thing I was going to say I wanted was the complete set of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER episodes...yes all seven seasons. I could watch those in the hammock and I would be relaxed and also fearless like Buffy. 
And also I would feel the admiration for writer Joss Whedon who delivered this fabulous speech about equality as an explanation as to why he writes strong women characters. (Starts with Meryl Streep but then Joss kicks in at the 3 minute mark)"

"Okay. I want...first of all to wave goodbye to 2013 because Vanessa the Vampire Slayer is right – 2013 was a tricky old piece of work and I'm quite glad to see the back of him/her/it, thanks very much. Now. The business end. 
Those gifts. (Apart from Instant and Sustaining Calm, right?)  I want a box set of those National Theatre movies of productions of great plays. Yes. I can borrow Vanessa's hammock (at least when I'm in Newcastle, though we'd better not add up how frequent that is/has been/ and is likely to be...Adelaide to Newcastle? C'mon...on a playwright's wage?) so don't need the hammock, but I might watch them in bed because Bed is Best, also right? Particularly when still in recovery from 2013. In the interests of a real and lasting recovery from said 2013 I might throw in a box set of Metropolitan Opera records of productions because...well, why not? What a silly form. But how great when it works. Plus a box of really, really, really high-end chocs, or possibly a replica of Noelle's last birthday cake (if you're lucky she may blog about it on Eat The Table  ).

"The best Christmas present you could give a playwright is a production. That's what it's all about, isn't it?
Thanks to STCSA, Black Swan and The New, I've already got my presents. 2013 has been a fabulous year, and I'd love another just like it wrapped up under the tree."

"I would like for xmas as many magical 'ah ha!' moments as possible. Yes those moments when you are doing the most banal of activities like hanging the washing out or stepping onto a bus when all those ideas you have been researching (but had no idea you had been researching) come together and say 'I will be a play'.
Then because I've almost been so very good this year Santa will bring me as many people as possible to come play with the forthcoming play. And finally even if the work is heartbreaking there will be love for what we are doing and a jolly good time will be had by all."

"2013 has been a weird and wonderful year on the writing front highlighted by a Month in the Country with my 7-ON colleagues.
All I want for Christmas is more time. That's right TIME. I need to fit in writing 3 projects, running around after kids, attending theatre events, getting work, cooking, cleaning and most frustratingly, talking to Optus/Vodaphone and anyone associated with technology.
What I want then is … A TYPEWRITER.
Yes, I know I'm a dinosaur/troglodyte but It's a Wonderful Life is my favourite fillum."

"I'm fed up to my bleeding eyeballs with 2013. It's been a cruddy buggery shocker and will be right up its final midnight. Gift-wise, I would like time to play again. And gremlins to come and paint my new office Panana Rose so that I can finally move my playwriting life out of my bedroom, and stare at birds and trees and the river and a big sky when I work. A matter transporter so that I can pop in on loved ones who live too bloody far away. Proficiency in Spanish because I hear that theatre in Buenos Aires is a happening thang. A boxed set of The Sopranos because I missed the granddaddy of high concept TV because you can't start a series not at episode one, can you? And weekly superannuation payments …"

"After a snaky year, I’m looking forward to a fabulous 2014. I’d like the country flooded with generosity and humanity, so we welcome refugees instead of vilifying and imprisoning them. I’d like a less acquisitive society that values celebrity less and ideas more. I’d like the Xmas fairy to make my magical thinking a reality. On a more personal note, I’d like a Qantas giftcard, business class of course, so I can go to Istanbul and Oklahoma—where I’ve never been, and also to Seoul, where I’ve been many times. I'd like some left-field invitations, and I’d like my writing to flourish, ditto the pots of herbs on my balcony."

So there you have it theatre lovin' peeps … don't forget it's a wonderful life even when you had a blah year (or not). Best holiday and festivus related wishes to one and all.


*NB there is no actual place called 7-ON Central

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